271th Day on DA (Using People For Your Benefits)

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JeremyArts's avatar
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Throughout the years I have heard about this topic about other people like friends , boyfriend or girlfriend or even your family using you for their own benefits . It can be for all the right reasons but sadly , not all are as good as it sounds . Yes this is a sensitive topic but honestly , how many people realize it  or even manage to get out of it ? 
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Well let me just say that be it friends or girl/boy friends vice versa , its common to ask each other for favors but when it comes to sensitivity things like monetary terms , its a different story all together . I have know this young lady who is like really young who is hopelessly in love with a guy and yeap , they got into a relationship together but things didnt ended up like how fairy tales story did . The guy was a school drop out , didnt want to pick up any skills or didnt even get his arse to work . Everyday is constantly a xbox day or a DOTA (some weird game) , thats the norm part so when night falls , its all about hanging out with his mates going to the club and picking up strangers (LETS not get into details ) Despite knowing all these , she still choose to be with this guy , say whatever you want but love is blind and I truly believe so . Imagine all she wants is a simple date to the movies , a simple dinner and a short scroll together at the beach or the park , his answers will be : I dont have money , I dont have time .  So in order to get his boyfriend out ,she will have to fork out for his transport fares , his movie tickets and his meals etc . Things got worst when he constantly cuts off her phone calls claiming that he didnt have enough money for phone bills and so not to incur more cost , dont call him or text him etc ... so she had to pay his phonebills just to talk to him . Its shocking what this pitiful young girl has to go through on a daily basis , all in the name of love ... 
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The other case will be friends or your so call BFF and I hate to say this but dont some friends just LOVE to use people for their own benefits  ? The no.1 killer that I know is when a person who is really innocent and just so kind hearted being used to the point of being dry . Ask yourself this question , does your friend come to you when they need you and when they dont , you are literally transparent ? Its so scary that society now is quite like this but if your "BFF" is treating you this way , then hey .. its time to get better friends . Also I am pretty sure there are times when you needed help , were these people whom you call friends ever there for you ? Some classic examples is when people starts to borrow things from you and they dont return you . I have been through this myself as I USED to have a friend who is constantly in credit card debt and he would call me to borrow a sum of money to clear his debt and promise to pay me by the end of the month but 100% of the time it doesnt happen . Imagine myself being so cash strapped and I have to beg him to return me the money asap and all I get was a "Can you F*****G wait! , I am busy call you later" . In the end , I became the bad person despite helping out someone (dont this always happen to me) So much for friends using you when they need you ... 

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Last but not least , the topic that I am really pissed to talk about . Family members using each other ...  I for one dont understand why this has to even happen in the first place . Imagine cases like a huge family of like 5 to 8 people .. sibling rivary getting out of hand and they have to put each other down just to impress their parents , to be the "Star Child" aka cream of the crop .. There is just so many disgusting cases that I have come across and some is really out of hand . I have heard of someone's brother wrongly accused his younger brother of stealing things from their parents and claim that "he saw it happened" just because he doesnt see eye to eye with his brother .. Honestly there is just too many to list down here .. So tell me IF you do face such issues and I would advise you to the best of my abilities 


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In short people , do you know if you have been used ? and if you know , are you doing something about it before it goes out of hand . I really hate to see nice people being used over and over again and they allow it to happen ... Its just a very sad sad cycle ..... I hope you guys see where I am coming from 




Rgds
Jeremy 
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rykahimawari's avatar
I can relate. 'Friends', relatives, and fellow workers sometimes use me. Especially those whom I've never talked to but would suddenly come to me with a request that I mustn't refuse. People would often ask me nicely to do their tasks, borrow money, draw something, and so forth. Afterwards, they would leave me and talk bad things behind my back. It hurts but I forgive them. Saying no can sometimes be hard for me. But yes, I cannot allow these 'user friendly' people take advantage of me again. I need to be more assertive because in the end, I will only hurt myself more. If I see that others are being affected, I am firm in my decisions and fight for them.